Parents’ Friendship With Children: Physical and Spiritual Benefits

Being friends with children is a value all parents should possess or strive for; it aids in the spiritual, physical, and emotional growth of children. This requires more than just being a super dad or mom; you need to be intentional in making the necessary sacrifices to double as a friend. There are benefits to being close and friendly with your children. These benefits can be divided into two categories: spiritual and physical benefits. We’ll go over these benefits, starting with the spiritual ones.

Spiritual Benefits

Bringing spiritual benefits into your children’s lives is critical since the spiritual gives birth to the physical. We are all spiritual beings undergoing physical experiences. God says in Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you.” This indicates pre-existence, as if we existed before becoming humans, and we became humans for a reason that we must discover with the help of our parents. 

1. Self Discovery

Every newborn child embarks on a life journey, and parents serve as God’s chosen mentors for each child. The word of God says in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This means a child will go to the part he is directed to. When parents fail to recognize God’s purpose in their children’s lives, they steer them based on their plans. It’s no surprise that our society has a high rate of failures, dropouts, mental illness, and suicides.

When people choose the incorrect road in life, they eventually give up halfway because they are not naturally equipped to operate in that path. God does not keep people on a road he has not chosen for them. If you take the route God did not choose, you will burn yourself out.

As soon as a child can speak, parents should begin guiding them on the journey of self-discovery. When parents spend time with their children, they may see their potential. Parents who are not close to their children, cannot guide them down the route of life that is unseen to the naked eyes. This can cause children to end up wondering, rising and falling, trying everything to grasp life, falling into the wrong hands, friendships, mentors, and alliances. 

Closeness and friendship will help parents in guiding their children based on the potential they have identified in them. With the support of parents, children can discover themselves and focus on accomplishing their goals.

2. Drawing Closer to God

According to Psalm 127:3, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him,” implying that they originally belong to God. God expects parents to raise their children to know and follow his ways. When parents are not close to their children, it is difficult to bring them closer to God. How can parents educate their children about a loving and caring God if they do not display this love and care? Children will see God in their parents if they can function to the best of their abilities to display Godliness.

A lot is going on in our society right now, with a various influences on the youth. Parents have numerous obstacles dealing with these influences. There are various types of influences, it can be technological, peer, and social. Parents rarely have control over these influences, but if they can bring their children closer to God, he has the power to overcome any harmful influences on young children. He’s everywhere, and he knows and understands everything.

Helping your children get closer to God is like giving them over to him. Children must grasp God’s methods from an early age. Trust him to lead them down the right path in life and reveal his plans for them.

3. Fulfilling Purpose for God

According to the bible, God instructs parents to raise their children in his way, so that when they grow up, they will not deviate. Unfortunately, many parents do not fully understand this biblical instruction. They make the error of raising their children in their own way to satisfy their purpose and aspirations. Such children begin to struggle early in life, experiencing delays and failures because they are on the wrong path. They did not begin their lives with God, who is the Alpha and Omega. God will not finish what he did not start; he can only help us get off the wrong track.

To ensure that your child succeeds in life and accomplishes God’s purpose, you should guide him or her down the path that God has chosen. This can only happen if you are close to your child and God. You will be able to understand your child better and know where his destiny lies. God requires the help of parents to guide children toward realizing their destinies.

Physical Benefits

The physical benefits are just as significant as the spiritual ones; they focus on children’s personal development, relationships with others, society, and the environment. Children who have close and friendly relationships with their parents have better personal development.

According to a report published by Public Med Central on the National Library of Medicine, “ The parent-child relationship is dominant in developing individual social relations. It has an essential impact on the development of children’s physical and mental health. Close parent-child relationship means parents’ increased participation in children’s activities, more encouragement, support, and trust, and better communication, conveying information about their self-worth to children. When children think that parents can provide help and encouragement, it is helpful for children to cope with challenges, thereby contributing to overall greater self-esteem.

1 Good Personal Development

A Child’s character development is heavily influenced by their self-perception and confidence. Parents can help kids gain self-confidence if they are close enough to understand and assist them with their perception issues. Some children suffer from poor self-esteem as a result of the treatment they experienced or other children’s reactions to their blunders. Some people are afraid or shy, which makes it difficult for them to express themselves and communicate freely with others. Parents’ closeness, warmth, and affection go a long way in strengthening their children’s inner selves.

Unfortunately, many parents only detect inappropriate conduct or traits in their children after they are fully developed. At a level they are already too late to manage. Closeness with children will help parents recognize inappropriate behavior at an early stage, making it easier to stop.

A friend once lamented to me, “My kid Felix has become to something else; he is rebellious and drugged. No matter how hard I try, he refuses to listen.” “What can I do?”

The first thing that came to my mind was, “Oh no!” Where did you miss it? If you were close enough, you would have noticed when it all started; nevertheless, it is too late and you are unable to handle it.

In a previous article titled “Why Parents are Better Friends,” I noted that children are like vessels in the hands of parents; if not handled carefully, they can break. And when they break, parents cannot repair them. They merely need to return them to their creator, God.

My buddy was not close enough to intervene in her son’s poor behavior at an early stage.

2. Prevents Abuse

Children are vulnerable, can be easily mistreated, sometimes by the most trusted adults or their peers. Unfortunately, many children who have been abused do not speak up because they are afraid of their parents’ reactions. The abusers may put fear in them to ensure that they do not notify anyone. The child may believe that no one will believe him or her.

I had a case of a twelve-year-old girl named Phil, who  was assaulted by her uncle, whom her parents invited to stay with her every time they traveled. She did not tell her parents, and the abuse lasted until she was eighteen years old. She assumed no one would believe her because her parents had placed so much trust in her uncle. 

The abuse coninued for over six years until she was brought to Christ when she enrolled in university. That was the first time she felt confident enough to convey her experience to anyone. Such an occurrence could have been avoided if her parents had been close and attentive enough to detect changes in her behavior the first time it happened.

3. Reduces Peer Influence

According to 1 Corinthians 15:33, “a bad company can corrupt good morals.” When I was little, I assumed it was merely an aphorism that my mother used frequently. I didn’t know much about the Bible at the time, but my mother was the first person I heard it from. When I began studying the Bible, I discovered that it was written in the Bible, which I treasured dearly. Many children’s lives have been cut short as a result of negative influences.

Mercy is a pastor’s daughter in her adolescence; despite attending church, hearing the sermon, and participating in activities, she lost touch with God due to her father’s absence. Her father, a pastor, was promoted to a manager and moved out of the state, where he resided with his family. He couldn’t turn down the offer which came with a better deal that may improve his and his family’s lives. Due to his hectic schedule, he only goes home to his family once every six months, or twice a year. 

Mercy remained alone with her mother, who did her best to ensure she did not miss her father’s absence. Mercy soon began taking advantage of her father’s absence, maintaining acquaintances who had a detrimental influence on her. Despite her mother’s regular reports to her father about her changing attitude, he was still too far away to intervene. Her friends eventually persuaded her to get a boyfriend since she was the only girl among them without one. 

Mercy quickly got involved with Zack, a college student, and eventually became pregnant. The next time her father paid a visit, his daughter was heavily pregnant. Mercy wanted a male friend to replace the void left by her father Pastor John’s absence.

Another example from the Bible is in Genesis 34, about Dinah, Jacob’s daughter, who got acquainted with Canaanite women despite God’s warnings. Eventually, she was defiled, and that brought great shame and humiliation on her family.

Parents’ proximity to their children allows them to control peer influence by keeping track of what is going on in their children’s lives, who their friends are, and what kind of company they keep. This closeness will not allow children have any void in their lives that will lead them into the arms of strangers.

4. Prevents Street Influence

The street is like a hydra-headed monster with a large mouth opened and ready to consume the fates of young people. It is a free marketplace with an abundance of vanities; stars are locked on the streets and cannot be free unless God intervenes. Children from both rich and poor families end up on the streets for the same reasons: lack of parental supervision, care, and guidance. Children who are not close to their parents are more prone to wind up in the wrong areas, one of which is the street.

Children are easily attracted to the street because it offers an appealing lure and a code that everyone must follow. This code is used to turn children away from God’s path. When parents lose control of their children, they create a vacuum in their lives that can become a powerful pull that draws them into the street. The street offers so many appealing opportunities that can lead individuals away from God’s plan.

However, you can keep your children off the streets by drawing them in and becoming friends with them. One insidious aspect of the street is that there are agents everywhere, including your children’s peers, classmates, and the boy or girl next door or across the street. Your strong relationship with your children will allow you to keep track of what is going on between your son and daughter with any street agent.

When parents are friends with their children, the intimacy and connectedness can allow them to sense their children’s pulse from a distance. They will be the first to notice when something is amiss in their children’s lives. Many parents can tell if a child is upset simply by looking at his face. Even when a child refuses to tell their parents what is wrong, they realize something is wrong and take fast action. A long period of closeness allows parents to foresee their children easily.

If you are a parent, the knowledge presented above can help you relate with your children better. If you made a mistake from the start by failing to share closeness and friendship, you can begin to make amends now. You can still get close to your children and develop friends with them, regardless of their ages. Parents will always be parents, and your children will need you in their lives.